October 3, 2012 (PRLog) Columbus, Ohio: While most authors have dreamt since childhood of becoming a bestselling author, few every achieve the title. The reason? The book industry is largely stacked against new authors. 

This truth became very evident to author Tara Meyer-Robson, when her first book, The Flow: 40 Days to Total Life Transformation, was published. “I come from a marketing background and I had worked exceedingly hard to write a ground-breaking book, so I thought it would be easy to market my book to bookstores.” explains Tara. “After my book was selected as a finalist in ForeWord Magazine’s prestigious Book of the Year Awards, I thought it would really be a snap!”

As she found out, bookstores don’t often take a chance on new authors, who usually do not have the same marketing budget as established names. “I cannot tell you the number of times I went into a bookstore with my shiny award sticker and a complete marketing plan in place—showing exactly how I would do all the marketing for the store, in exchange for them just stocking the book—and I was turned away with disdain. I was so frustrated I almost gave up.” 

Finally, she decided to research trends in the more non-traditional, technology-focused ways of selling books. Pulling together a huge amount of research into one focused campaign, she watched with delight as he book became an Amazon.com bestseller in 3 different categories on October 8, 2008. Better yet, she made the “Movers and Shakers” list for several days straight. 

“I honestly could not believe my eyes as I watched my book soar up the bestseller lists. My sales went up 4,700% in one day, and at the end of the day, I had sold 700 books.” She declared. 

Aside from “bestseller status,” she was also amazed to find that she was now sought-out for media interviews, when just a few weeks before, it was almost impossible to get booked. And, in a terrific twist of fate, this one campaign also led to her selling her foreign rights and heading out on a 10-day book tour and launch in Romania.

“It was incredible. The results of this one campaign, which cost me almost nothing, are still happening today!” exclaims Tara. “Not only did I figure out how to be a bestselling author, I also knew I could replicate the results for other authors.”

After being approached by many authors to help them create a similar campaign (and helping several)—and realizing that more authors need this help than she could possibly get to—she decided to package the entire system up in a program she calls “Bestseller in 1 Day! The Step-by-Step Formula that Sold 700 Books in a Day, Generated Hundreds of Radio and TV Interviews, and Launched an International Book Tour.” 

The Bestseller in 1 Day! program launches today, with over $2000 in free bonuses for purchases made before October 8th, 2012, including free gifts from internationally-known comedian Stephen Thomas, “Bombshell Factor” Image Consultant Gigi Belmonico, and well-loved inspirational coach Michelle Barr. In addition, the first 30 purchasers also get a free seat in the live version of the program, taught by Tara herself, allowing 30 lucky people to have even more individualized help and support. 

To find out more about how to be a bestselling author, go to www.bestsellerin1day.com. 

In addition, 5% of all program sales are donated to the Maximum Hope Foundation, a charity founded by Brad Garrett, and whose mission is to provide support to families supporting a child with a life-limiting illness. To find out more about this terrific charity: http://www.maximumhopefoundation.org/

Have you ever been going along, personal life plan in place, goals in mind, when someone tells you, “That’s not the way to do it! You should do it this way!”? 

I should think that you have, as I am certain that it is not possible to be human and to escape this experience. 

As you set forth your goals and go about following your action plan to get them, it is good to be prepared for the so-called “authorities” that will tell you how you should do everything. It seems that each person you encounter will be the expert, telling you “from experience” that you must do it a certain way. Or, they might explain that they “tried everything” and this was the “only thing that worked” for them, to save you the trouble of even trying a new method. Most commonly, you might hear that you cannot accomplish your dreams, that “It’s impossible. It just can’t be done.” 

The next time that you are confronted with this kind of thinking, remember that this attitude would have left us in the stone ages hunting and gathering for our food and wearing fur (or less). 

Please believe me: there are countless ways to do anything. Things that have never been done before are just begging to be brought into being from the Source. I mean, can you imagine how many people told the Wright brothers that flying was impossible? Now it is an everyday occurrence, moving millions of people around the world at every moment. I imagine that Bill Gates had people who thought that he was crazy when he started Microsoft; now he is one of the most powerful and successful men on Earth. I cannot fathom how many people Oprah Winfrey must have encountered that told her that she would never be able to be what she is today. Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Nelson Mandela, Gloria Steinam, and Martin Luther King changed the world because they believed that it could be done. They knew that they could do something that had never been done before, they ignored the naysayers, and they did it. 

The next time that someone tells you that you can’t do whatever it is that you are aiming to do, tell them that they are full of rubbish (in the kindest possible way, please). Go home, turn on the Biography Channel, and watch a few biographies on some famous people. If that is not possible, pick up some autobiographies from the local bookstore. Suddenly, you will see that bringing the seemingly impossible into being in a way that is authentic to you is the only sure path to take. 

For every person who is a successful actor, there are as many different paths that led them to that goal. For every successful entrepreneur, there are as many different ways to find success. For every person who has become President of the United States—not one of them took an identical path to the White House. 

The ways to get to your dreams and goals are as varied as the number of people on the planet. Your life is not identical to anyone else’s; no one else has lived life in the same way, made the same decisions, or taken exactly the same steps as you have. There is no one else in the world exactly like you—and there is never one true path that you must follow to lead you to the life of your dreams. 

Believe in yourself. Make choices that radiate the power inherent within you. Take all actions based on the frequencies matching what you desire to bring into being. Finally, believe that what you dream of is already in reality, because believing in the end result helps to bring it into reality. Stay steadfast in your personal belief and let this flow into being in your life, however it chooses to do so.  

*This article is an excerpt from The Flow: 40 Days to Total Life Transformation 

The You Whisperer Questions:

1. Have you ever stopped going after a dream because of other’s opinions? How did that make you feel?
2. Have you tried to follow another’s path, only to find that it was not the right one for you? Is there a new path that you could take that would make you happy?
3. Do you ask many opinions before moving forward on a new project? What might happen if you simply listened to your own mind and gut instinct? Would you have the confidence to do that? How would it feel if you succeeded against the odds?

By Tara Meyer-Robson, Author of The Flow: 40 Days to Total Life Transformation

“I will never get this sale.” Jon slumped forward a bit and sighed. 

I looked at him and couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I had been conducting a sales training for a company, and Jon was in the audience. He asked terrific questions and seemed to be a positive thinker and a go-getter. At the end of the meeting, he asked to talk with me privately, as he had an important appointment that day and wanted some tips on how to prepare for it. Just from what I had seen of him during the meeting, I expected that he was going to be totally confident in his ability to sell this client.  

“Jon, did you hear what you just said?” I asked gently.

“What?” Jon looked perplexed for a moment. “Oh, yeah - that I won’t get this sale.” He smiled sheepishly as he realized the issue. 

I laughed. “Um, didn’t you just sit through my entire presentation on changing the way you speak and think to change the outcome to what you desire?”  

We both laughed and then spent time working on shifting his mindset to prepare for success, however, this moment stuck with me. If someone who had just been totally engaged in learning everything I was teaching could, just moments later, fall right back into a negative pattern, then anyone could. 

You see, the truth is that negative thinking is an incredibly invasive bad habit of which most of us are unaware, but causes incredible problems. After all, do you think that Jon would have sold that client if he went into the appointment with the attitude that he wouldn’t get the sale? It isn’t likely.

The same holds true for your life. Do you think you will be as confident and successful as you can be if negative thinking is a habit for you? Not likely here, either.

To help you to break the negative pattern and develop self-esteem and success, here are the three most common negative beliefs and ways to shift them now: 

Negative Belief #1: “I don’t deserve better.” 

For many of us, we simply feel that we don’t deserve better than our current situation, which is a definite problem. Why? Because this belief also keeps many of us stuck in situations where we are extremely unhappy, and that is no way to live. 

There are many reasons why you might feel this way (which I will deal with in future articles), but for now, no matter who or what told you that you were not worthy of better, it isn’t true. No one deserves to be stuck in an unhappy, stressful life, no matter what anyone else thinks. 

To shift into believing that you are deserving of a happier existence, first define for yourself what that life would look like. What is in your life now that is negative? What would you get rid of? What positive people, experiences, or things would you like to be part of your new life?

Then, once you have this image as clear as you can, take a deep breath, put your shoulders back, stand up straight, and begin to say, “I deserve the best in life.” 

As you go through your day, notice if you fall back into an old pattern of believing that you aren’t worthy of the things or people you desire. If you do, simply take a deep breath and say, “I deserve this and all that is the best in life.” 

Negative Belief #2: “I am a failure.”

All too many of us feel like we are failures in one way or another. If this is how you feel, perhaps parents, coaches, teachers, or other people told you that you failed in one way or another. Maybe you tried to start a business and it didn’t work. Or, perhaps you tried diets, self-improvement courses, or success training and did not see the results you wanted. 

Whatever it is, carrying around a feeling of failure is not for your best. So, take this to heart: You did the best that you could with the beliefs and thoughts that you had at the time. You are different now, and you can choose a different outcome at the present moment. 

To begin to shift this negative belief, when you wake in the morning, look yourself in the eye in the mirror and tell yourself, “I am a success.” Before important meetings, repeat this statement several times. On your way home from work, make it a mantra that you say over and over. 

Allow this new belief to begin erasing any “failures” of your past. Remember, you cannot go back to the past and redo it, so the only hold it has on you is the one you allow it to have in the present moment. 

Let old stuff go. Replace it with a belief that you are successful and seek experiences that prove it so.

Negative Belief #3: “I am not important.” 

This negative belief is incredibly prevalent in those that I work with. It’s a real problem, because it causes truly good people to continuously put themselves last; everyone and everything is more important than their needs and goals. Believing that with their whole hearts and souls, they work and work and never give themselves a break. They eat badly because they have no time to slow down. They routinely give to everyone around them, saying “yes” to everyone else’s needs but never fulfilling their own. 

One day, they wake up and realize that they are worn out, overweight, over-stressed, depressed, and have no more to give to anyone else. Then, they call me for help.

While I am more than happy to help you personally, I would love if you could take this lesson to heart before you need to call me for an intervention:

You have a right to take care of yourself, and you even have a right to put yourself first. 

Think about this: If you do not make yourself important to you, how will anyone else value you or your time? How will you have relationships that are true partnerships, rather than one person continuously taking and the other always giving? How will you ever feel fulfilled or get the time to achieve your dreams?

The answer is obvious: You won’t. 

This week, I would like you to become aware of how often you put yourself last on the list. Do you notice that people around you put you down? Are there people in your life that do not respect you or your time? Who do you support that never supports you? 

As you become aware of this, begin to say to yourself, “I am important.” When you are about to skip lunch again to finish another project for your boss, say, “I am important,” and choose to take a few minutes for yourself. When you are about to take a bath and the phone rings, say “I am important to me,” and let it go to voicemail.

You get the idea. The more that you tell yourself that you are important, the more that you believe it. The more you believe it, the easier it will be to stand up for yourself and take care of yourself in any situation.

Want to be invited for a FREE webinar on Removing Negativity from Your Life? 

Simply sign up to get your free meditation above, and I will send you an invite (as well as a free meditation!).

Questions for Introspection: 

1. How hard is it for you to feel that you deserve the best in life? Can you think of times in your life where you were taught that you were unworthy?
2. Do you have failures in your past that are holding you back? Are you afraid of failing again? How might your life be different if you hadn’t had those experiences?
3. Do you feel unimportant? Is this a pattern that you learned from your parents or others? Is it hard for you to even imagine putting yourself first?

You wake up in the morning, stumble out of bed, and go to the bathroom. Wiping the sleep from your eyes, you look in the mirror. “My God! I am gorgeous!” you say to yourself. “Wow! I’m practically a movie star!”  

Doesn’t happen this way, you say? Don’t worry, you aren’t alone. 

While I am being somewhat silly about the positive feelings you should have toward yourself, I am completely serious about learning to love the body you are in. Sure, you may want to change some aspects of yourself, but you can decide to love them even while you are changing them. 

In fact, I wouldn’t just say that you can decide to love them, but that you need to.

By loving what you are at the moment, you begin a process of holistic change. You send out a more positive energy to all around you, which allows you to attract better people to your life. You gain confidence in yourself, which allows you to accomplish more and to stand up for yourself when you should. 

In effect, loving yourself as you are at the moment is the key to changing yourself into all that you dream to be. 

If you find that difficult - or practically impossible - to imagine, try these simple exercises to begin flexing that “self-love” muscle:

1. Look yourself in the eye in the mirror and say, “I love you.” 

Now, this does seem easy, but it can be a horribly difficult task for some. Go easy on yourself. If, as you try this, you feel like running away or breaking the mirror, take a deep breath. Walk away from the mirror. Calm yourself for a moment. Come back. Look in your eyes again, and try, “I am okay with myself.” Once you are okay with being okay, try moving to, “I like myself.” Work on that for a bit. Finally, move to “I love myself.” 

2. Change negative self-talk to positive self-talk.

Focus on how you talk about yourself throughout the day. Do you comment on your “love handles” or joke about your “batwings?” How often do you put yourself down during the day?  

Don’t finish a negative or self-deprecating comment. Instead, stop yourself and change the comment to a positive one - or, at the very least, a neutral one. 

Bringing your awareness to the hate you direct at yourself is a critical (and often surprising) step in developing self-love and a positive body image.

3. Dress in a way that makes you feel good.

Do you find yourself stuck in a rut of dressing in yoga pants or sweatshirts? Has it been a long time since you put any care into how you look?  

If so, you are only reinforcing a negative feeling about yourself. By changing the way you dress and taking some time to look good, you will begin to take more pride in yourself. 

It’s just about an instant cure to a negative body image.

Find clothes that make you feel good. Iron that shirt you love or put on those terrific heels - even if you don’t have anywhere particularly important to go. Take a few minutes to dab on cologne, put on make up, or do your hair. 

It is amazing how much better you will begin to feel, and even more importantly, when you take care of yourself, you send a signal out that you are worthy of even better from life. This begins a cycle that allows you to develop a better sense of self.

Who knew that clothes had such power? 

Go out and love yourself today. You are one of a kind! 

As a child, I remember being stuck in a math class that I disliked and imagining myself anywhere but that room with that teacher. In my mind’s eye, I wandered off to imagine myself becoming a great mystery writer, penning timeless classics in the style of Agatha Christie. I was jolted back to reality with the sound of my teacher asking, “Tara? Do you know the answer?” Of course, I didn’t know the answer to the math question, but I thought I might know part of the answer of what I was meant to do in my life.

If you have been feeling stuck, wanting to become something that you are not today and wishing yourself in a new, freer situation that actually makes you feel good, then it’s time for you to ask yourself, “Do you know the answer? Do you know what would make you happy?” 

Far too often we simply wish ourselves out of a bad or stagnant situation, but have no idea what would actually make us happy. In order to achieve your dreams, you need to know your dream in the first place. Here are three key questions to help you to do just that:

Question #1: What do you love to do now? 

Think about everything you do in your life now. What makes you feel the most joy? Maybe you love to cook for your family and friends. Perhaps you enjoy coaching your child’s soccer team. Maybe you love to help solve people’s problems. Whatever it is, list everything that makes you feel passionate about life. 

Question #2: What did you love to do as a child?

Remember when you were a kid, filled with joy, energy, and hope? What was it about that period in your life that made you truly happy? For some, you may have loved to write. For others, it might have been dance, sports, or just playing in the yard. Whatever it was, dream back to that time and write it all down. (If nothing else, you will feel a full-body smile just imagining the happy times of your youth.)

Question #3: What kind of life would allow you to feel this passion again?

This step will require both your imagination and a little research. Look at all the things that make you passionate, and imagine a life that allowed you to live with that same sense of joy. Is there a way to reintegrate some of those activities into your life? No, you might not play kickball as an adult, but you could learn another, similar activity. 

If you are seeking a new career that would bring you more joy, what kind of career would let you bring your passions to work? The answer might come to you right off, or it might take some research. For instance, if you loved dance as a child, there are many ways to build a career around it - for instance, you could become a dance therapist, a NIA instructor, or an aerobics teacher. If you loved to write, you could become a freelance writer, a ghostwriter, or an author. Whatever it is that you love, get online and research the kinds of jobs that use that skill. You might be surprised what you find!

Then, imagine the life that would give you the freedom you desire. Close your eyes and smile, allowing a feeling of joy to flow down into your body and up into your brain. Then, just ask yourself, “How could I create a life that would bring me joy? What kind of life would that be?” Wait for the answers. If you are visual, you might actually see yourself moving to a new location or working at a new job. If you are auditory, you might “hear” in your mind some ways to move forward.  

If this is hard for you the first time, just stick with it. Do just 5 minutes of focused meditation on your “dream life” a day, writing down your observations after each session.  

By doing this, your dream life will become more defined and you will become more focused and joyful.   

While you may be screaming “yes!”, hold your horses. Just like any relationship, you have a personal relationship with money, and so, you have a power balance going on: money can control you, you can control money, or you can have a balanced and flowing relationship with it, allowing it to come in and out of your life with love and trust. 

So, while you may say that you are absolutely open to having money, your beliefs about money may tell a very different story. In fact, you may have an internal conflict raging within you—on one hand, seeing money as evil or bad, and on the other, seeing it as your very life-blood to achieve what you desire in life. You fear both having too much, believing that you must do something unethical to earn it—or having too little, fearing an unfulfilling, impoverished existence. It really is a mess—and it absolutely blocks your ability to allow money to flow to you easily. 

Answer the questions below to help you to learn how to create more balance and joy in your relationship with money. By opening yourself to a healthier experience of your finances, you can also open yourself to a better, more fulfilling, more supported life. 

The You Whisperer Questions: 

1. Do you see money as evil or bad? Were you told that “rich people must be bad or unethical?” How do you think this affects your relationship with money?
2. Do you not feel like you deserve money? Do you feel that a spiritual or good person doesn’t need financial wealth? Where does this belief come from?
3. Have you ever been able to do something good with your money? For instance, have you given to a homeless shelter, saved a dog from a pound, or given to a charity that helps starving children? How did that make you feel about the power of money? 

I think we all do. In fact, with all that we do and strive to accomplish every single day, it is extremely difficult to not get run-down and worn out every so often. 

For many of us, our response to our exhaustion is to grab a seriously over-caffeinated drink and to keep on going, jitters and all. (Believe me, I have done this myself!) However, there are many easy-to-do methods to rekindle your inner fire – and naturally get more energy in your body, mind, and life.

Here are some simple tips you can implement right now to see an immediate impact on your energy levels.

Energy Tip #1: Take time to focus on the things that you are grateful for.

Do you go through your day feeling beaten up by life? Have you been overworking with little appreciation for all that you do each day? If so, it is easy to get stuck in a negative mindset – expecting that only negative thing will happen to you, and wearing out your mental state with a total focus on the bad things that seem to happen each day. However, the truth of the matter is that you have many things to be grateful for – you just need to notice them.

To do this, simply take a blank notebook or journal and designate it your “gratitude journal.” Then, each and every day, write down 5 things that you are grateful for that day.

What you will likely find in doing this simple little exercise is that you have a lot more to be grateful for in your life than you may have thought – and you will also begin to retrain your focus to see the positive that is happening in your life. When your mind is convinced that you do have good things happening in your life, you will feel less burdened – and that always allows you to have more positive energy!

Energy Tip #2: Surround yourself with images of people that you love.

How do you feel when you are with those that you love? How about when you come home from a hard day and see your spouse or partner, children, or pets? 

I am willing to bet that you feel energized – the worries of the day seem a bit farther away. So, bring that positive energy right in to your workspace! Make sure that you have pictures of the people or animals that you love, and take time to look at them throughout the day. When you do, simply say to yourself, “I am grateful for your presence in my life,” and allow that feeling of love and gratitude to flow over you. 

Energy Tip #3: Compliment someone. 

Pay attention to those around you, and offer an authentic compliment to someone. Offering a little joy to others always makes their day, and it makes your day, too. Try it and see how much better you feel by giving out a little goodness to others! 

Energy Tip #4: Get away negative people.

Really. Now. We all understand that being with negative, critical people is nothing but trouble for not only our energy levels, but for creating a better life. After all, the more that you are tuned in to a negative frequency, the more negativity you will bring in to your life. 

It is for your best that you limit your interaction with negative people. Find ways to avoid those that are negative, and to be with those that are positive – and notice how much better you feel as a result!

Energy Tip #5: Dream.

What do you really want to do or be? Take 5 minutes to write down exactly what you really desire in your life, and then visualize yourself doing and being that very thing. Make this experience as real as possible, imaging every detail, such as what you will be wearing, how you will feel, what others will be saying or doing, any scents or smells that will be part of this experience, and anything else you think would make the experience real for you. 

After you are done, notice the amount of every in your body – it is truly amazing what just a few minutes of dreaming will do for you! Better yet, every time that you do this, you tune your mind in to this very reality, allowing that experience to flow right to you! 

A lot of us are (including me), and that’s not a good thing. 

When you hold yourself up to a perfect ideal, you are telling life that you do not deserve love, respect, or any other good thing unless you meet that ideal. Of course, it is impossible to be perfect, so you end up feeling like a failure because you never get what you want. 

Perfectionism is also at the root of most addiction. Anorexics think that they will be lovable if they are thin. Alcoholics and drug addicts fear that they will never be as perfect as they think they need to be, so they drown this hurt and pain in the bottle or with pills—at least this way, they can have a reason why they are not living up to the ideal. Workaholics are always striving to prove themselves worthy of their jobs, love, and the respect of others by working themselves into the ground. Overeaters are often so frustrated at feeling that they will never measure up to the ideal body that they just eat—this way, they have control over how they failed. Plastic surgery addicts are chasing their individual belief of the perfect body, believing that attaining it will earn them love and approval.

Perfectionism is a nasty thing, because it never allows you to be good enough, lovable enough, or just enough. A perfectionist could do an absolutely perfect job, but they will only see the little flaws that no one would ever notice. Happiness is elusive for a perfectionist, because there is always something more that can be done to make their work, life, or body better.

This way of life will literally eat you alive. It is self-hatred, plain and simple. To live up to some fictionalized ideal, you will restrict eating, exercise excessively, and work until you have pushed way beyond your limits. You will beat yourself up for every single slight, mistake, or imperfection, and make yourself sick with worry that someone will find out that you are not as great as everyone thinks that you are. By making the ideal more important than you and your heath, your body will get the message that you do not really care about yourself, often resulting in disorders such as chronic fatigue and mononucleosis. 

Stop abusing yourself! It’s time to start taking care of yourself and learn to accept yourself as you are now. Understand that no matter what messages you have received on what makes someone perfect, none of it is true. There is no ideal, and there is no perfect person. You are perfect as you are right now. 

Choose to connect with your inner beauty and truly love yourself for being you. Choose to be authentic to yourself, your instincts, and your needs. When you make a little mistake, take a deep breath and say “So what?” Everyone is entitled to make mistakes. 

Instead of seeing your “flaws,” realize that these very flaws are what make you unique and desirable. After all, Cindy Crawford could have seen the mole on her lip as a flaw, but it became a real asset for her career and a very desirable beauty mark. Jennifer Lopez could have listened to mainstream media and believed that her backside as too big, but instead it is a real strength for her and her career. Beyond just celebrities, look around at all of those that you admire; notice how their uniqueness is actually a true benefit to be loved and admired.

You are just as beautiful. Feel it in your spirit. Accept it in your soul.  

The Flow Method Questions and Actions: 

1. If you are a perfectionist, why do you feel that you need to be perfect? Are you afraid of not measuring up? Not being loveable? Not being accepted? Were you raised in a family where every little slight, action, or word was analyzed and blown up to massive proportions? Do you still fear that one word or phrase will cause a catastrophic response? 
2. How often do you push yourself beyond your limits to chase an ideal? Where did the ideal come from? Can you make yourself worthy of taking care of yourself? Try using the affirmation, “I love myself. I am good enough in every way. I am perfect just as I am.”

Would this article help others in your life? I'd be so grateful if you'd share it with them - and I bet they would be, too! Much love and gratitude!

I have certainly had moments like this. A few years ago my husband and I went through two hurricanes, completing renovations on our house, putting it on the market, a cross-country move, and the death of my beloved grandmother all in a four week period (actually, all but one hurricane happened in one week). I have never been so stressed out in my life, and I began to notice that I was constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for the next disaster to happen. 

To top it off, I found I had gained about ten pounds in a week, although I hadn’t eaten a thing in days.

I felt exposed and unable to protect myself, and this frequency began to create the physical reactions that I was having. My fight or flight response was so overstimulated that my adrenal glands burned out. My mind was saturated with the idea that life was unsafe, so I manifested padding all over my body to at least soften the energetic blows.

If you carry excess weight in your mid-section, ask yourself why you feel unsafe. Very often, you will feel the answer in your gut immediately. Perhaps you have been hurt by someone close to you, and you are afraid of being hurt again. Maybe you are afraid of being rejected for who you are. Or, perhaps you are at a point of chaos in your life, and you feel that the blows will never stop. Any threat against your physical, emotional, or spiritual self can trigger an imbalance in the core of your body.

While you may feel that you cannot protect yourself, this is never true. As the co-creator of your life, you have the ability to create your own security and your own safe space, even in threatening situations. After all, the more that you identify a particular situation (or all of life) with the expectation, “I am not safe,” the more that you will trigger a fight or flight response in your body. 

Instead, when you find yourself feeling that you are being threatened in any way, bring your awareness to your breath. You will likely notice that you are either holding your breath or it is speeding up, so choose instead to take deep, slow breaths. Breathe in to the count of 5; breathe out to the count of 7. By doing this, you communicate to your mind that you are calm—and your body remains calm. Then, in this calm state, repeat to yourself the new expectation, “I create my own security. I am safe. I am protected.” If you would like to, you can place your hand over your stomach as you do this, further reprogramming your mind to connect your physical state with your mental reality. 

The more you practice this, the more you create new neural programming that you really are safe and that you are able to protect yourself. It also sends out an important message to life itself that you are empowering yourself to choose better, safer, and happier experiences for you. 

Remember, you DO have the power to change your anxious, scared reactions to life, and by so doing, to change the kind of life you have. 

The Flow Method Questions and Actions:

1. Can you remember when you began feeling anxious? Was it during a particularly stressful time, or was it due to a traumatic event? 
2. In what situations do you feel most unsafe or anxious? When you are in those situation (or just before), remember to use the calming breath above. Then, in a calm state, repeat to yourself, “I am safe. I create my own security.” If you get anxious during the event, remember to go back to the calm breath. Again, putting your hand over your stomach helps to ground your mind and your body and makes an important connection for retuning your reaction in these situations. 

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I am here to tell you that you absolutely can free your mind and free your life right this very moment. In fact, you can do so in in 3 simple steps: 

Step #1: Realize that your mind is already free. 

No matter what your current issues are, your mind is free right at this very moment. No one can force you to believe their viewpoint on anything. You make all the decisions about what to think, feel, and do. 

Is this difficult to believe? Here’s an example that might make it easier: What if someone came up to you, pointed a gun at your head, and told you that you must think about an apple immediately or he would shoot you. Would you actually have think about an apple to save your life? Could you just tell him that you were thinking about an apple? How would he know if you were lying?  

Of course, the reality is that you could think about anything you wanted, and there would be little he could do about it. Saving your life would be fairly easy, as you could claim that you thought of an apple, and he would have to believe you.

While that is an extreme example, this same idea applies to your life. All too often we think that we must believe the viewpoints of parents, friends and acquaintances, bosses, doctors, religious teachers, and even the media. Again and again, we give our personal power over to the opinions of those around us, because we think we have no choice and no right to question them. 

Worse, we are brainwashed to believe that we must live our lives by their standards, or suffer some horrifying consequences. Let me tell you, living your life based on beliefs you do not agree with is a recipe for a miserable life if I have ever heard one!

You are free to think anything you desire about yourself, your life, and what you really want to be and do. You are a perfectly wonderful person as you are, and your needs and desires are good and appropriate for you. Whether or not they are appropriate for others isn’t your concern. You have a right to make choices that live up to your standards, and no one else’s. 

Step #2: Free your life by freeing your mind from the power of other’s beliefs. 

Take a moment right now to decide whether you want to keep living by other people’s standards. First, take out a sheet of paper. Then, write down everything that you believe you should be, should do, and should think. Write down others opinions on your decisions and their beliefs about your life. 

Then, ask yourself whether you want these things to be true for you. For instance, you may have lived your life with guilt because you never put in the effort to become a doctor. However, when you really consider it, you never wanted to be a doctor; you only feel guilt because it was what your parents expected of you. Or, you may have been taught that you were not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, or any of a million terrible things that we all learn throughout our lives. 

Now, ask yourself if these are the beliefs that you want to continue to build your life around. How much time have you wasted allowing these beliefs to control you? How many negative experiences have you had because you believed these things about yourself? What experiences have you missed out on? 

Take back your freedom and your life. Rip up that piece of paper and mentally decide you are throwing out beliefs you don’t agree with. Decide right here and now that you and only you choose what you want to believe about yourself and how you want your life to be.

Step #3: Retune your mind with new belief statements.

Now that you have found a way to free your mind of old beliefs that were holding you back, you must replace those with new beliefs that empower you and the life that you desire to live. 

Formulate some new truth statements for yourself. You might want to say something as simple as “I am free to live my life the way that I want”, or something as specific as “I am smart and capable. I choose to live up to my greatest potential.” 

Try saying these new truth statements to yourself over and over again throughout the day. You will be amazed at the new life you begin to create for yourself. 

Best of all, it will be the life that you truly desire! (Now that’s freedom!).

What do you do to feel in control of your life? Have you been feeling stuck and worn out lately? I'd love to hear your stories. 

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